...the EVALUATION...

Dear Family,

Life is becoming so much easier now that the evaluation has passed. We all got up together at six, for once, and waited for Jared to come and inspect. He was supposed to get here at seven am, to have a meeting with us about issues raised in Laura’s personal evaluations, then after an hour or so begin private interviews with us to discuss our concerns, hopes, and things we need to improve on as teachers. Then, Jared was to go through our rooms, our facilities, and have a private meeting with Laura about them. After lunch, we were to teach the special lessons we prepared specifically for him to see, wait for his remarks, teach first grade, then get his feedback on our overall performance (and discover if it was good enough to pass muster, or bad enough to get us deported-or worse, re-trained). As it turned out, he missed his train. We spent hours sitting tensely in our rooms, tensely in the computer lab, tensely in the cafeteria, tensely in the supply room as the day ticked tensely on. We ended up crowded into the supply room for an hour before classes started, with at least six people scrunched against the windows playing lookout while the rest of us chatted nervously, playing silly hand-clapping games and freaking each other out with random exclamations of “It’s Jared!”, or, “They’re here, look busy!” Eventually, with Laura still gone and Jared still absent, we were forced to abandon our hopeful, nervous vigil and get the children gathered for Opening. We had just begun the obligatory weather questions when a lanky, Caucasian, tall guy with dark hair, followed by Laura, ducked in and began watching us.

Of course, our kids went nuts. x_x
The minute this familiar (2nd graders = Jared had been here before) guy popped in, the kids started slapping each other, scooting out of line, yelling, and rolling around on the floor. We the evaluated were of course shocked and intimidated, and so Opening devolved into a mess of sporadic songs and frantic pleas for quiet. Thankfully, it only lasted for ten minutes, so we gratefully gathered our classes and scrambled off, aware of the scrutiny aimed at our retreating backs. I was supposed to be evaluated during an Arts and Crafts class, and so I had everything ready and polished for Jared- unfortunately, he declined to come in and we were suddenly subjected to a left-field schedule change after only two classes! I had just finished helping my second class with their finger puppets when a harried-looking Laura craned her head in, announced that the 2nd graders were leaving and that the 1st graders were coming in eight minutes, and that the supply room was closed due to meetings.
I stared at the door in shock (I only have eight minutes to get ready?!), grabbed my things (I left the 1st grade stuff in the supply room!), and rushed down to the third floor with a stampede of gleeful eight year olds (I need help!) I managed to grab Laura as she passed me on the stairs and asked, “How can we get our lesson stuff if it’s in the supply room?” She growled that we can go into the supply room and fled, leaving me flummoxed and flustered, and five minutes shy of a first grade class. I pelted into the supply room, passing Jared on his way out (d’oh!), and snatched up my supplies. I dumped the rest on the shelves, and barely made it to the gym area on 4th floor to help control Opening. The kids cooperated for the most part, and we did the best we could despite the MESSED UP schedule our neat-and-tidy planning had brokered. I myself was trying to convey the concept of Impending Occurrences (“The cat is going to eat the mouse! What is it going to do? It’s going to eat the mouse!”) when Jared appeared and loomed at the back of the class. I sweated it out with many an exaggerated chomp-chomp-chomp to illustrate ‘eat’, and then he was gone. I wiped the perspiration from my brow, relaxed, and finished teaching the two classes.

Once the children were gone, two hours early, we sat together outside of the supply room and wondered how badly we were going to receive the smack-down for not being organized. Some theorized that we would need re-training, a fate worse than death, others said that the schedule had been demolished and anything bad that had happened was not our fault. I personally figured that we were going to be told in very disappointed tones that our jobs were poorly done, etc, etc, this is ruining their lives, etc, etc. Imagine our surprise when Jared invited us to sit in a circle, settled into a ridiculously tiny purple chair at the head of it, and beamed at us with a declaration that he was impressed with us. Impressed?! Was he even watching those disorganized classes? He must have noticed our collective shock, because he smoothly interjected that most schools had children running down the halls screaming (okay…we do control the kids better than that), that rotations between classes take over ten minutes (well, ours were only two today! WOO!), that the students even defecate on one another to express their displeasure (yeah, no children do that here). He was happy because we demonstrated that we could discipline the children (we give ‘strikes’, like baseball, three strikes you’re out!), that the children listened when we said ‘English Only!’, and that we could get them to calm down and listen. He was pleased by our enthusiastic teaching, and overall was tickled pink by our control of the situation. He mentioned that we were in the best shape out of all the schools he had seen so far in his inspection. I sat there in a daze, and was fuzzily glad that he had not asked for us to comment yet, as I was sure I’d start babbling or some other embarrassing act. While he praised us I thought of all the calmer, more organized days we have, and I think that we are definitely in great shape if our worst day was good enough to pass. YEAH!
There wasn’t enough time to do individual interviews, as he had to catch a train in an hour, but he was able to get in two group sessions wherein we begged for more water, and he promised to do something about it. He did! We now get eight drums of purified water a week for the thirteen of us instead of three, and life is already looking much less administrative (no more training meetings!). I can hardly believe it was so simple and easy to get a good grade- ah, no more stress.
As for today, we get to watch General Conference! We got the DVD from some church members in Nanjing.
Fun stuff I’ve learned about Changzhou!
The night market at V-Mart has dumplings, turtles, pearls, beans on a stick, pineapple on a stick, and roasted meats of every kind for under a yuan.
There are a zillion pirated DVDs floating around, and a zillion legitimate DVDs. It’s really, really hard to tell them apart!
The babies here are so cute, and their Moms think it’s the coolest thing when we coo and wave at them, making silly faces and laughing when the toddlers only gape in confusion.
I have eaten pig’s feet, chicken blood soup, chicken feet, raw dough dumplings, hot rice goo, bamboo, and red bean bread. I’ve developed a great liking for all of the above, besides the raw dough dumplings and the chicken feet.
And lastly, I’m leaving for Beijing soon- so guys! What would you like from China? Stuff here is inexpensive to the extreme, so if you want it and I can find it, I’ll get it for you (even sketchy DVDs, lol). I’ve seen some interesting stuff, so if you can’t think of anything, I’ll have to get creative. <3 *coughchickenfeet/pigintestines/mummytoescough*
I love you all! Calissa

PS- Could you write down the story of that kingdom with an evil wizard who tries to get the people to wear red and eat chocolate cake, and any other cool stories like that and sent them? The children and teachers like them a lot, and I’d love to make a few little books for them. I would also love more pictures of the family doing stuff together, like baseball, lacrosse, eating dinner, playing games, reading, doing homework, singing, making paper airplanes, folding clothes, cooking…the kids love seeing pictures of my family, and I love sharing! Also- Mom, if you need your pearls re-strung, I need them before we leave for Beijing on May 6th! ;)

Oh Goodness - The "Full Moon" and other adventures

We did not hear from Calissa for a couple of weeks and got a little concerned when there was an earthquake and we STILL did not hear from her. She is fine...just busy!

This is her latest chapter in the great China adventure.

Hello! I just wanted to let you know that I’m alive- that earthquake wasn’t very close, and we weren’t there that day. We are all alive, reasonably healthy, and getting enough food (water, on the other hand…). Okay. Now, for some awesome updates on my life and a reply to your letter, Mom!
I’m okay, and I am most certainly relishing those chocolate treats you sent- in fact, they are in part responsible for my presently optimistic attitude! Mm, mm, good… Those allergy tablets got here, and they did indeed help my running nose and glassy eyes.

How are the kids? Well, we have a few of every kind: some shy ones who don’t talk very much or loudly, the goofy ones who want attention, the kids who are smarter than we are, the kids who delight in causing trouble, the enthusiastic ones who aren’t as skilled but still try. And then there are the apathetic ones, who make us giggle because they are just so cute with their moody faces while everyone else is hopping around with excitement. Are they learning? Yes. Faster than we are learning Chinese, at any rate. I’m very much enjoying teaching now, especially now that I’ve gotten the hang of it somewhat. As for the inspection…ILP decided to put it off for a week, which is absolutely mean considering the fiendishly busy days we’ve had trying to get it all ready! Everyone is slightly peeved that we have to do a few things over again, but we’re relieved that most of the training and paperwork got mauled through before they come. The new date for inspection is this Wednesday, and we’ve been given very special instructions by Laura- be enthusiastic, be on time, and don’t complain!

On another note, the Chinese teachers (perhaps possessing the ancient art of telepathy, or maybe just possessing excellent observational skills) decided that we worked too hard and were spending too much time with each other- so they took us out to a coffee house and dinner, their treat. We left at 12 and didn’t get back until 8:45, which felt absurdly long upon reaching the dorms, but felt heavenly in light of our recent…exertions. We took a bus to downtown Changzhou, and were escorted by three peppy teachers and King (not peppy: we get stressed, we stress him, we stress out about stressing him…vicious cycle) to this huge, luxurious, beautiful building with a receptionist and elevators. We went to the fourth floor, where we had our reservations for the day, and were immediately sent to a lovely open booth with deep couches and teak tables. A waitress came over with a large tray, and began setting down tiny plates with various treats and snacks- some familiar, like those trumpet-shaped cracker things, and others, like the wheel-looking things that tasted like frosting and peanut butter, unfamiliar. We snacked politely, and made vague conversation while we took in the only relaxed atmosphere in over a week. A few minutes later, she came back with frothy milk drinks that tasted, and probably were, like melted ice cream and water. It was so good to have dairy again! We sucked down those milk drinks within minutes, and to our surprise and delight, our best friend the waitress returned with more! Those too disappeared in a trice, and we relaxed, beginning to disarm our multitudinous personal explosive tempers, and simply enjoy the company and sights. With snacks coming every fifteen minutes, and those ice cream drinks, we were more than satisfied with sitting back and doing absolutely nothing but munch and dazedly loll, but our hosts had other plans. They wanted us to play cards with them, so we corralled a random child’s Harry Potter Uno and had a few rounds, during which actual ice cream was served in tiny bowls. I had the red bean and taro, and both made me very happy. Let’s get ice cream when I get back, okay? ;) After the Uno fest, we checked the time (3 pm) and chatted. Some slept, possibly for the first time in a while. Others, like myself, learned and experienced the joy that is tapioca milk tea and Golf (the card game) in a nice atmosphere. The milk tea was pink boiled milk with blue tapioca balls at the bottom that you sucked up through a huge straw, and was delicious. I am also a terrible Golfer, and won the title of worst player with a score of 139 points after four rounds (the winner had 13). Well, I have no poker face, so that’s alright. We stayed and snacked until five. Most of us by that time had relaxed to such an extent that we were once more on polite speaking terms with each other and the world in general, and were ready to go back to the dorms to finish the experience with good, cleansing sleep. Our Chinese teacher friends, however, were not finished with the day- they took us to a small, Western-ish buffet where we were able to consume with difficulty a little more food of the dairy and familiar variety, during which we talked and joked and looked discreetly at our watches. After an hour or two, we began making light noise about sleeping off the tremendous perpetual meal we had consumed, and the teachers genially let us return. That was a good day…

Saturday, they took us to a mountain to climb it. We had ratcheted up our stress levels again, and many of us were eager to get in some excellent cardio and relief by roughing it through the wilderness for a few hours, but as it turns out, Chinese mountain climbing is a very different thing from American mountain climbing. The mountain was a hill with a colossal philosopher’s statue on it, and the path was nor precisely hiking grade, more like random-jaunt-with-an-elderly-person-through-the-bamboo grade. It was nice, but ultimately more interesting as a post card. I did enjoy the cave, though! It was really cool to go through a cave and explore a bit, and the exit was a boat ride, so that made my day. Afterwards, we had a nice traditional Chinese lunch (duck tastes awesome), and went to a cute amusement park. I got to ride a giant Ferris wheel that took a full fifteen minutes to make a revolution, and got my picture taken by four different groups of teenagers. LOL. I was a tourist attraction! It’s true, you don’t get many foreigners in this part of China.

Oh! I just remembered a funny thing that happened this week- remember how you asked about the kids, and if they were learning? Um, I know a few who are having a bit too much fun in our classes. Plato, one of the bigger boys (9, not 8), is a bit of a troublemaker, and bullies some of the smaller boys around. Well, one day when we were relaxing after gym (my favorite class to teach), I noticed that Plato was off by himself and not participating in our post-game discussion. I asked him, “Plato? Would you come sit down, please? What did you learn?” Plato proceeded to do something shocking. He plopped down beside me, rattled something off in Chinese, and then displayed a full, brown moon to the entire class, not two feet from my face. I looked at that bottom, felt my control of the class slip, and wondered, How am I supposed to save this? I then got a flash of inspiration. I turned to the class and said emphatically and enthusiastically, “Plato mooned me! What did Plato do? Plato mooned me! Everyone say, ‘Plato mooned you!’ Who did he moon?” “Plato moon Teacher Calissa!” “Good!” I then taught the class that mooning is not polite, and the lesson continued. I’m glad he didn’t go full Monty, I don’t know how I’d have salvaged that…“Everyone say, ‘Plato is a nudist-’”

On a different note, I feel like I should ask after my cough. You remember when I got H1N1 and had to stay in the country longer? Well, I got better in almost every way, and feel excellent, but I never completely lost the cough. I thought it was another allergy symptom, but those have gone away, and this hasn’t. I hear and feel something rattling around in there still, and it bugs me because I can’t understand why I’ve still got that. I can breathe very well since it seems to be at the bottom of my lungs rather than the top, and I only notice occasionally or when I’m horizontal, but it’s still weird. On the other hand, I haven’t caught anything like the flu (which wiped out half our number for a week), or a severe cold (which took out four for two weeks), or strep (which afflicts two of us right now). I feel so bad for the kids because we get sick so frequently, but it’s probably the kids who are giving us the illnesses, so I’m not remorseful for long.
Some fun stuff I’ve noticed about China this week is table manners. It’s socially acceptable, and even the norm, to spit out food and put it beside your plate, on the table. This means that at a large meal, everyone will have a little pile of bones, gristle, and whatever else glommed together on the tablecloth. Yuck. I still haven’t gotten the hang of this yet, and persist in hiding such tidbits in a napkin which I then secrete in the shadow of my cup. It earns me some interested looks, but I’m okay with that. Another thing is slurping. Everyone, from the teachers to the students, does this. And the snorting, then spitting? Yep, that too! 
And lastly, what I’d like in that final package…hm. I’d like pictures of you guys, and whatever else you’d like to send is fine. <3
I love you! Calissa
PS- Good luck with the worm composting!

There, Their, They're

EUREKA! I figured it out.
It is so confusing, even for adults to know when to use there, their and they're.
When driving with Jeff and Bryce the other day, I came up with a great memory trick for them to use:

There: directional word (put it there, over there, went there etc)

Trick: the word "where" is spelled like "there" and can be used together. Put it there. Put it where? Over there!

So, if one can ask the question: Where? it is used with the word "There".

Their: ownership, possession (means that someone owns or possesses something)

Trick: the word "heir" means to inherit something, a belonging of someone else's. When talking about "their home, their dog, their car, their vacation etc it means something they own or something they can lay claim to. An "heir" can lay claim to something once the owner passes away or it is given to them - thus the ownership tie. look for the word "heir" in "their" to indicate ownership.

They're: conjunction for they are (apostrophe means a letter or letters have been left out)

Trick: substitute they are in the word and see if it still works and if it does not, you are using the wrong word!

So, that is my EUREKA moment for the week...I will share only the best of them with you.

Bryce's SuperFly Pinewood Derby car

It's that time of year...

Bryce and his pack all vowed not to let their dads touch the cars...no moms for that matter either. We have some pretty crafty moms (no not crafty in the bad way) and we know our way around the garage. I tease my sweet husband that most of the tools in the garage are mine : )

I digress...



Bryce wanted a trident shaped car and cut it so small that we were forced to go foraging through the garage for anything that would be the right size and weight to add 4 more ounces to the car. This is what evolved as we found things to glue to the foundation and it looked so much like a dragonfly that it got wings!



I can honestly say the only thing I did was give him permission to use my glass stones and used the drill press to create an indentation for the steel "eyeball" at the front. The wings do flap as it goes...not sure if that will help the speed or not, but it sure looks cool!

Great Job Bryce!!! Weighing in at 4.9 ounces....SUPERFLY!

Parking in a "no parking" zone

We had some great lacrosse games last week and had gorgeous weather and beautiful flowering trees as well. The kids won their games, we had a great day and I captured some fun pictures while we enjoyed the day together.



I caught Shanan with both of our iphones as she was surfing the web on mine (or on facebook) and listening to a message on dad's phone. She has wanted a phone for so long that once she gets her hands on one, there is no getting it back!



The trees were too beautiful not to take pictures of! I also could not help myself when combining kids with blooms - so here is my version of two beautiful images in one! He does smile most of the time, this was his serious pose - a rare moment!



These are truly a little boy's foundation: skinned knees, bruised shins, dirty scuffed converse - what a great life a little boy has!

Worm Farm - Vermicomposting in my Kitchen

I ordered the red wigglers (yes that is what they are called) last week and was thrilled to see them arrive in the mail today! I was shocked that the box was so very small since I had orderd 2000 of the creepy crawlers, I just assumed it would be a rather large box - not so!

Let the composting begin!

So, this is my plan: create 4 separate layers in different stages of decomposition (yep, we are decomposing in my kitchen) and add organic material to them one week at a time.



I picked these bins because they stack and have a recessed area where the "compost tea" can drain through (my kids were freaked out when I called it "tea" because they thought I would make them drink it! ) This liquid is like gold for a gardener - full of great nutrition and plants love it! I drilled holes in this recessed area so it would drain.



Next, I put a layer of shredded paper and then some peat/potting mix which I purchased for starting seeds. Worms love peat and dead/decaying stuff, so I put in some rotting leaves too - yum.



Then I put in the bucket of organic material that I had been collecting for several days and added it to the mix.



Time for the worms - seriously, these 2000 worms would fit in a large cereal bowl! I ended up dividing the scraps between two bins and dividing the worms in half (not the worms themselves, just the big bunch, speaking as a whole)



They were alive and wiggling and yes they are red - hence the name, Red Wigglers! I added some leaves, made everything even steven and made sure the whole mass of rotting food, wiggly worms and shredded paper and mulch were good and wet and that I could see the liquid would move from layer to layer and finally end up as a concentrated fertilizer in the bottom bin (the clear one) ready to make my plants sing happily and grow!!



This is the finished product, with holes for ventilation and all components in place. Now eat, little worms, grow big, multiply and don't make me a liar (I told my husband and kids that this would not stink and would not be gross!)



Now, I used a very tiny tool to drill the holes, a Dremel and this really was a simple project to do. If I mess this up, I will be totally humiliated! I will have a tiny funeral for all of my dead worms and they will become compost for my garden, may they rest in peace. HOWEVER, if it works, I will make my first ever you-tube video and share it with the world! This is WAY cheaper than buying the worm farms, just don't tell the worms that!

Laundry Adventures

Dear Family,

I am alive! The past week has been chaotic, but I am back on my feet, and with a few days of sleep under my belt, ready and rearin’ to get back into the swing of things! Although, truth be told, I can never sleep in until 7 am at the very latest, despite my fervent and persistent efforts to make it until lunch without stirring from my Bed of Indolence. I wake up every day at 6, look at my watch in disbelieving exasperation, and roll over- an hour later, I pick it up again, and discover that a mere 45 min to an hour have passed. At this point, lying about in a lazy manner becomes painfully dull, more so than getting up and sweeping the floor or doing laundry, so I push off the quilt and shuffle through my daily routine. Can I just say, it stinks to be on vacation and still stick to a school/working schedule out of sheer boredom? I’m not even being served 7 am breakfasts until Tuesday, and I’m waking at the crack of dawn! Sheesh. Stupid body clock. (lol)

The weather in Changzhou is just as charming as ever, consisting of dusty wind and intermittent rain- Dad says that you guys are currently enjoying pleasant weather, and I am glad of that! Here, the temperature is still wobbling between forty and sixty degrees. I’ve gotten so accustomed to it, in fact, that when I walked into Laura’s room on Monday, I thought her heater must be up to ninety, at least! She calmly replied to our incredulous inquiries that the temperature was a balmy sixty degrees, and that typically, our rooms don’t go over fifty to fifty-five. Wow, I had thought that was the outside temperature! It explains so much, though; I could never understand why, if our heater was functioning, it was that I had to wrap up in a quilt to sit down and read a book. Or why people still got numb fingers from typing on the computers at the school building if the weather was warm. *sigh*

Using the computers is a hassle most days, so I usually go every other day- that way I am always delighted with a full inbox, and can happily justify using a full hour to go through them. It’s important to get out entertainment where we can, here. Most of us have little to do besides work, read, use the computers, or do laundry. And before you scoff at the thought of washing clothing as a form of enriching entertainment, let me tell you that the process is significantly different here, and infinitely more engaging. In fact, because I am feeling like describing the process for you (mild familial torment via letters is also an accepted form of diversion), I’ll not skimp on the details.

1. I approach the machine. It looks like a typical washing machine, despite the Chinese characters instead of English labels, but it is as different as a canteen from a vase. The functions are similar, but the similarity ends quickly. The washer has only a power cord connecting it to the wall, no water hoses or vents are involved. There is a spigot protruding from the wall, with a blue plastic hose clamped on with a wire, from which the water for washing is obtained. The machine has two hatches, one for the washing, the other for spinning. There are three dials (which cannot be read, only guessed at): wash timer, drain/fill/?, and spin timer.
2. I lift my pile of clothing, and dump it all into the larger bin. There is no need to sort clothing, as it will all be washed with cold water, and will not be in long enough to allow color seepage.
3. I check the middle dial, and make sure it is set to ‘fill’. The last time I left it on ‘drain’, and tried to fill it, the water spilled out of the drainage hose beneath and made a filthy mess on the tile. I guess I know why the laundry area is set in a depression rather than even ground, eh?
4. It is set on fill. I scoot the entire thing over to the spigot, and turn on the water. As the hose delivers the liquid, I dump an amount of laundry detergent into the tub. I have no idea how much of this I’m supposed to use (the instructions are in Chinese), but I do enjoy the thrills of watching bubbles form on the surface of the increasingly grey water.
5. The clothes are covered in water, so I turn off the spigot and close the hatch. I scoot the whole thing closer to the squatter (harder when it’s full of water), and set the wash timer. Its max setting is fifteen minutes, so I have time to do a set or two of Tai chi (I can’t wait to show you guys!).
6. After watching the whole thing jerk around like a pinball for a quarter of an hour, it’s time to drain off the dirty water. This is accomplished by shoving the drainage hose underneath into the shower/squatter and twisting the middle dial. This provides me with the dual satisfaction of watching dirty water go gurgling down the drain, and of watching the clothes inside become visible under the scummy water and heaps of bubbles (maybe too much detergent, this time?).
7. This process (minus the detergent) is repeated for rinsing purposes.
8. Finally, the clothes are ready for the spinner. I pull out soggy handfuls, and slop them into the smaller compartment. It takes at least three goes to do an entire load, considering the inconveniently small spinner, but hey- it’s all about the journey, right? The spinner goes for five minutes each, during which the washer makes several attempts to either do a disco dance or tiptoe away. Finally, all the clothes are spun and ready to dry!
9. I lift an article of clothing, and put it on a hanger. I then reach for a long pole, at the end of which a pair of prongs has been fastened. I set the loaded hanger in the fork of the prongs, then lift it four feet above my head to the double poles running from one wall to the next- these will hold the clothes until they have dried sufficiently to wear. I maneuver the pole carefully, and set the hanger hook over the nearest pole.
10. Repeat x 20-30 times.

As you can see, this brings a great deal of color and fulfillment to my life. J

A lot of things here are different, but cool- like customs! Did you know, it’s considered highly offensive to go about in public with cleavage showing? Not even their movie stars do it! How cool would that be if we didn’t have to deal with that at home? No more gross-outs at Walmart…ahh… On the other hand, look up baby clothing online. Check out the pants. Enough said.

Dust is ever present here, and the dust bunnies reproduce faster than bacteria! I swept the floor this morning, and found a fist-sized clump. Six hours later I swept, and found another fist sized clump. It never ends!

DVDs- there are a lot of them. I wish I knew what was pirated and what wasn’t, then I could buy that boxed collector’s set of Miyazaki movies for two bucks…

Sooo…yeah. Haven’t gotten that aforementioned box yet, but it’s the weekend, so maybe they can’t give it to me yet- I’ll ask tomorrow. Write me, guys! I love you all!

Love, Calissa